it's not the same anymore.
you can try, but it's not the same.
i don't feel the connection.
i don't feel anything at all.
i tried. we tried.
i saw. we saw.
i felt it. we felt it.
yet why do we still hold on?
i can't face the reality.
i don't wish to.
i want everything back.
back to the first moment itself.
but that can't happen, can it?
i wish it could. but it can't.
someone tell me:
why can't i face the truth to things?
answer: because truth itself is a horrible thing
it is when a terrible sense of realisation befalls.
facts are facts,
we can't change anything.
i don't want to.
but i have to.
i'm hurt. we all are.
but,
there's nothing we can do
except bear the pain,
move on,
and every time we see the scars,
let it be a painful reminder
of what was lost.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
sometimes i get this kind of feeling, but that just shows that i really love you.
i am reallyreally tired. have been working for 3 days straight, cypher camp coming up this wed.
went out for SYOG CEP outing today, but end up only 5 of us turn up. was quite moody cuz i was tired, they were all girls and they were poking fun of me retaining. made me really sad actually, but well something else made me feel much worse.
the internet at home reallyreally sucks.
went out for SYOG CEP outing today, but end up only 5 of us turn up. was quite moody cuz i was tired, they were all girls and they were poking fun of me retaining. made me really sad actually, but well something else made me feel much worse.
the internet at home reallyreally sucks.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
My RP story.
Let me tell you a story.
This is the story of how a boy, through a miraculous transformation, turned out to be the man he is now.
Back in 2007, when the boy first enrolled into Republic Polytechnic, he was elated. He was glad that, even with his terrible ‘O’ level scores, he could further his studies in a diploma. This was RP’s Diploma in Interactive and Digital Media.
Little did he know, for soon he would soon start to dislike his school.
Like many others, the boy felt that he was wasting his first year taking the other irrelevant modules he was required to do. He felt that he was wasting his time, and therefore he took his ‘O’ level examinations a second time, in hope of getting a better score, and transferring elsewhere.
A better score he did get, but by then, it was already the end of his first year. He thought to himself, since he has already wasted a year, why not continue until he graduates with a diploma? And so, he continued on with his “studies” in the polytechnic.
By the beginning of his second year, he had already lost much hope in what his school could offer him. It was then, that the miracle happened.
He slowly became acquainted to the rest of his diploma-mates, like the boy named Thexeira together with his legion of noisemakers from the class diagonally-opposite to his, and the other boy who prefers to be referred to as NobodyHome. By then, he has already been on good terms with another boy by the name of Chance, whom the boy knew through a coffee-shop on the opposite side of the school.
It was these three major influences that have made him what he is today.
NobodyHome, who was in the same class as him, was like a brother to the boy, both of them sharing similar interests in design, so much so that the boy could trust NobodyHome’s judgement whenever he doubts his skill. Thexeira’s band of merry men, were the ones who brought out the boy’s true calling; to become a people person, and it was Chance, who taught the boy how to live his life truly, how to take charge of his life.
Together with these three influences, plus the many encouraging words from the people he soon started calling ‘friends’, the helping hands in his times of failure, and last, but not the least, the support of the teachers that have taught him many valuable skills, the boy, has finally become a man.
And with the end of this story,
This boy says, “Thank You. To all of You.”
This is the story of how a boy, through a miraculous transformation, turned out to be the man he is now.
Back in 2007, when the boy first enrolled into Republic Polytechnic, he was elated. He was glad that, even with his terrible ‘O’ level scores, he could further his studies in a diploma. This was RP’s Diploma in Interactive and Digital Media.
Little did he know, for soon he would soon start to dislike his school.
Like many others, the boy felt that he was wasting his first year taking the other irrelevant modules he was required to do. He felt that he was wasting his time, and therefore he took his ‘O’ level examinations a second time, in hope of getting a better score, and transferring elsewhere.
A better score he did get, but by then, it was already the end of his first year. He thought to himself, since he has already wasted a year, why not continue until he graduates with a diploma? And so, he continued on with his “studies” in the polytechnic.
By the beginning of his second year, he had already lost much hope in what his school could offer him. It was then, that the miracle happened.
He slowly became acquainted to the rest of his diploma-mates, like the boy named Thexeira together with his legion of noisemakers from the class diagonally-opposite to his, and the other boy who prefers to be referred to as NobodyHome. By then, he has already been on good terms with another boy by the name of Chance, whom the boy knew through a coffee-shop on the opposite side of the school.
It was these three major influences that have made him what he is today.
NobodyHome, who was in the same class as him, was like a brother to the boy, both of them sharing similar interests in design, so much so that the boy could trust NobodyHome’s judgement whenever he doubts his skill. Thexeira’s band of merry men, were the ones who brought out the boy’s true calling; to become a people person, and it was Chance, who taught the boy how to live his life truly, how to take charge of his life.
Together with these three influences, plus the many encouraging words from the people he soon started calling ‘friends’, the helping hands in his times of failure, and last, but not the least, the support of the teachers that have taught him many valuable skills, the boy, has finally become a man.
And with the end of this story,
This boy says, “Thank You. To all of You.”
Thursday, March 25, 2010
void of e.
did nothing much today. paid a visit to my district's community lot, to claim coupons for NTUC . I was drifting around this part of our country with nothing much to do, during which i had this notion of blogging without a particular symbol/insignia commonly found in most words of our lingo.
it is with much difficulty that i am posting this blogpost today, going through paragraph by paragraph, again and again.
i was thinking, if i had a stab at this thought/plan into my applications into a local institution in my upcoming days following the conclusion of my study at this instance, i would, with no hardship at all, land a position into any option i wish.
now, how scholarly am i? hahahaha
it is with much difficulty that i am posting this blogpost today, going through paragraph by paragraph, again and again.
i was thinking, if i had a stab at this thought/plan into my applications into a local institution in my upcoming days following the conclusion of my study at this instance, i would, with no hardship at all, land a position into any option i wish.
now, how scholarly am i? hahahaha
today i saw the queerest thing. i saw a carpark being used like a real park would be used. there was a primary school teacher with primary school kids at the 6th storey, and there was a jogger as well. that carpark has the whole top level as a garden. so i guess its like a real park then cuz i was strolling around in the carpark as well. now all we lack is a picnic.
darren and i got free entry to the night safari, so we pretended like we were tourists. very fun.
darren and i got free entry to the night safari, so we pretended like we were tourists. very fun.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
okay, so monday i went swimming and gymming. had alot of fun, but nothing much to talk about(:
yesterday was the big event.
We had like foreigners going to the hort park, and cuz it was raining in the morning, the weather was humid, plus the sun was shining thru the clouds, so it became what i call the 'sauna effect'. friggin hot. first time i actually had a sunburn without the sun shining on me.
all in all, yesterday proceeded quite smoothly, diyanna said she wanted to kill me while smiling. lunch was good, but i couldn't eat half of it cuz of chilli, then they got old chang kee currypuffs and springrolls. i only ate one chicken and mushroom and half a spring roll. oh, yusri's station had left over dragonfruit, cleared 3/4 of the box really fast, then suffered the consequences when i reached back home.
we also emptied all the ice from our cooler boxes into the fountain and the swimming pool exhibit, cuz we didn't know where to dump it. so yesterday actually quite bullshitty la, but damn fun.
after the event, steph, yusri, lillian, abu and i went to vivo for dinner, then when we reached there we realised it was free cone day at B&J, because of the massive queue snaking in and out. we didn't bother queueing, making this year my 3rd year skipping free cone day, haha.
you can't see the merlion from the top of vivo anymore. the IR is blocking everything. they have really really short fireworks as well. and lillian wants to train abu's dragon.
yesterday was the big event.
We had like foreigners going to the hort park, and cuz it was raining in the morning, the weather was humid, plus the sun was shining thru the clouds, so it became what i call the 'sauna effect'. friggin hot. first time i actually had a sunburn without the sun shining on me.
all in all, yesterday proceeded quite smoothly, diyanna said she wanted to kill me while smiling. lunch was good, but i couldn't eat half of it cuz of chilli, then they got old chang kee currypuffs and springrolls. i only ate one chicken and mushroom and half a spring roll. oh, yusri's station had left over dragonfruit, cleared 3/4 of the box really fast, then suffered the consequences when i reached back home.
we also emptied all the ice from our cooler boxes into the fountain and the swimming pool exhibit, cuz we didn't know where to dump it. so yesterday actually quite bullshitty la, but damn fun.
after the event, steph, yusri, lillian, abu and i went to vivo for dinner, then when we reached there we realised it was free cone day at B&J, because of the massive queue snaking in and out. we didn't bother queueing, making this year my 3rd year skipping free cone day, haha.
you can't see the merlion from the top of vivo anymore. the IR is blocking everything. they have really really short fireworks as well. and lillian wants to train abu's dragon.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
okay, i didn't blog the past two nights cuz i was receiving my training as CSC at the night safari. pretty decent job with a rather high pay, considering that all i do is tear or punch tickets.
i gotta work at least 12 nights every month, but i don't know my school schedule/YOG schedule at all. i guess all my friday and saturday nights are taken, but that just gives me 8 nights.
overheard while waiting for the bus to the zoo:
girl: (to her little brother) give me any two numbers!
boy: 20 + 10?
girl: 30!
boy 100 + 100?
girl: 200!
boy: 1000 + 1000?
girl: you give me so big number how can??
the other trainee together with me got rejected. no wonder she wasn't forced to go on the animal show and tram ride with me.
the moment i receive my night safari badge, i enjoy alot of privileges to all three parks, the bird park, the zoo and the night safari. in the future, when the river safari opens, i can go in free as well. i just need to flash my employees badge and that's it, plus i get discounts everywhere.
its like having a membership where they pay you, lol.
i gotta work at least 12 nights every month, but i don't know my school schedule/YOG schedule at all. i guess all my friday and saturday nights are taken, but that just gives me 8 nights.
overheard while waiting for the bus to the zoo:
girl: (to her little brother) give me any two numbers!
boy: 20 + 10?
girl: 30!
boy 100 + 100?
girl: 200!
boy: 1000 + 1000?
girl: you give me so big number how can??
the other trainee together with me got rejected. no wonder she wasn't forced to go on the animal show and tram ride with me.
the moment i receive my night safari badge, i enjoy alot of privileges to all three parks, the bird park, the zoo and the night safari. in the future, when the river safari opens, i can go in free as well. i just need to flash my employees badge and that's it, plus i get discounts everywhere.
its like having a membership where they pay you, lol.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
我会永远抱着你。
went for cypher camp dry run 1 today. they said 9 - 6, but ended up 10 - 12. totally retarded.
i look at this batch of student leaders, and i think to myself: other than those that have experience due to previous cypher camps, the new SL's cannot make it. i look at their face and i know.
seriously, how can you be an SL if you're SHY?? LOL.
cut my hair at the QB at causeway point. the bloody hairdresser got problem, now my hair looks like shit. i'm still deciding whether to buzzcut, or to let it grow long again.
cousin staying over at my place cuz she just had some laser surgery to remove her birthmark which dominates majority of her right cheek. used my mom's bathtub, and ended up clogging up the thing. so what did they do? call in the resident plumber: me.
tomorrow will be a better day, i just know it (:
i look at this batch of student leaders, and i think to myself: other than those that have experience due to previous cypher camps, the new SL's cannot make it. i look at their face and i know.
seriously, how can you be an SL if you're SHY?? LOL.
cut my hair at the QB at causeway point. the bloody hairdresser got problem, now my hair looks like shit. i'm still deciding whether to buzzcut, or to let it grow long again.
cousin staying over at my place cuz she just had some laser surgery to remove her birthmark which dominates majority of her right cheek. used my mom's bathtub, and ended up clogging up the thing. so what did they do? call in the resident plumber: me.
tomorrow will be a better day, i just know it (:
Monday, March 15, 2010
一步一步，陪你走。一天一天，握你手。
i think there's something wrong with the weather. rain, stop, rain, stop. can't even swim properly.
didn't do anything much today, just went out for fun.
edit/: yesterday is no longer the best day of my 2010, TODAY is the best day of my 2010. wait, make that the best day of my life ((((:
didn't do anything much today, just went out for fun.
edit/: yesterday is no longer the best day of my 2010, TODAY is the best day of my 2010. wait, make that the best day of my life ((((:
Sunday, March 14, 2010
我握住你的手，一起走一走。
went to NUS open house today with steph, the last of the open houses. NUS had alot of goodies in their goody bags, but the bags themselves were nothing more than two canvas bags.
i seriously think the sheares hall of NUS is damn cool la. if i get into NUS i'm definitely staying there, but because entry into NUS is so bloody steep(not really interview based, so me sad), i highly doubt i can get in.
had lunch at this makeshift tent thing, had a wrap consisted of veges(tasted like yusheng in a wrap), and hot and spicy tofu. the tofu damn shiok, thank god ate chilli med last night, nothing happened to me today.
right after lunch, saw megan. W.T.F. she's like hunting me down. i really think she hates me alot. i can literally feel the bad vibes when i see her.
went to NUS law school after that, had a tour and found out about the headless white lady at that campus. i don't believe. attend a mock court session, and now i know whose face to look out for when i need to hire a lawyer in the future; i'm never hiring the prosecution.
today is the happiest day of my 2010 so far, and nothing can ruin it(:
i seriously think the sheares hall of NUS is damn cool la. if i get into NUS i'm definitely staying there, but because entry into NUS is so bloody steep(not really interview based, so me sad), i highly doubt i can get in.
had lunch at this makeshift tent thing, had a wrap consisted of veges(tasted like yusheng in a wrap), and hot and spicy tofu. the tofu damn shiok, thank god ate chilli med last night, nothing happened to me today.
right after lunch, saw megan. W.T.F. she's like hunting me down. i really think she hates me alot. i can literally feel the bad vibes when i see her.
went to NUS law school after that, had a tour and found out about the headless white lady at that campus. i don't believe. attend a mock court session, and now i know whose face to look out for when i need to hire a lawyer in the future; i'm never hiring the prosecution.
today is the happiest day of my 2010 so far, and nothing can ruin it(:
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